To be honest, marriage is hard. Marriage isn’t hard because of who I married (she’s an angelic blessing), marriage is hard because of the war between my flesh and the Spirit. My flesh wants to please me, but the Spirit wants me to die for Shasta. The pull to my Heavenly home, though my final destination, pulls against my desire to live for myself here on earth. When I see days like Valentine's Day on the calendar, those are obvious days where I should sacrifice for my wife, but the thirteen days of February leading up to the fourteenth can be days I mismanage, making that special day a stumbling block for our relationship. So, how do we as men love our wives in a way that makes the most of special days like Valentine’s Day?
1. Live Ephesians 5:25-33 as Often as You Can
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
A man’s role in marriage is to represent Jesus in the way Jesus loves the Church. Loving like Jesus is painful, sacrificial, selfless, but redemptive. The goal of a husband is not to blindly sacrifice for his wife, the goal of a husband in a Christ-honoring relationship is to love her like Jesus and sanctify her in the Lord. That means praying for her, serving her, leading her closer to the Lord, spending time with the Father, spending focused time with her, and making the most of opportunities for unconditional love. Days like Valentine's Day should not be epitomes of love; they should be milestones in love.
2. Feed Your Spiritual Life
No husband can be the husband they should be without spending time with the Lord. The goal of a husband is not to woo his wife to have more intercourse with him, the goal of a husband is to feed her spiritual life, and that means feeding his first. For a husband to feed his wife, he has to live on more than an empty spiritual tank. Husbands must spend time in the Word, worship, serve, say no to sin, and lead her down a path he is willing to walk. Husbands need the wisdom to walk this path, and Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Husbands, feed your spiritual life by fearing the Lord, gaining His wisdom, and use God's insight to guide you and your bride.
3. Make the Most of Today to Start a New Chapter
Every day is an opportunity for a new start. A new start does not mean a dramatic difference, but it can mean a different outcome. Valentine's Day offers a chance to sow good things into your marriage if you haven’t the other 364 days of the year. I encourage you, make the most of today by starting a new chapter of being the husband your wife needs, the husband who honors God in your marriage by leading your wife to the Lord more and more every day.
Marriage will have its ups and downs, but stay faithful to sow things of the Spirit into your marriage, so you reap Godly things in your marriage.
Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”